Editing out blemishes, how much of an impact does it really have?
I've have always been a bit spotty. I don't know why, maybe it's just my genes, my oily AF face, but I am never 100% blemish free. I had acne as an adolescent and now I have (mild) adult acne which flares up when I am stressed. And this last week has been pretty damn stressful. Anyway -
Let's take a trip down memory lane, back to my teen years, coming into my early adulthood when my blog was really beginning to take off. My skin, well, it was bad. But I would never show it, I edited the absolute crap out of my skin to appear flawless. Because that's all I could see from my peers. Perfect skin. Perfect bodies, perfect hair. I thought to myself, what the actual fuck, how is everybody so bloody perfect. But of course, they weren't. And really looking back, I should have known.
I was part of the problem. I was just another girl with a blog who edited her acne ridden face to appear more, well, appealing. However coming back to the preset - my skin is a lot more manageable. I use acne treatment creams, I have hydra facials at the Beacon every so often which really help. But every so often, I break out. That's just life.
I have always documented myself, some of my earliest self portraits were me crying in my room with a lit cigarette hanging out of my mouth. Back then I really liked to photograph myself in a more raw and authentic way, until I fell into the blogging world. So now I finally feel like I have come full circle, nearly 15 years later. I want to document my skin on bad days. I want to photograph my room when its messy. I want to photograph the minor details that make my day better or worse. Because that's what I love, I love to document.
And right now, my skin sucks. I have spots on my face that actually hurt a little. I can feel a new one come up as soon as the other one goes. It's not pretty, and it knocks my confidence a little, but hell, I am so much happier to share that with you now than I was all those years ago. And I think that comes with practising self love.
So it's time for me to stop trying to convince you that I have my shit together, that I have perfect skin all the time, and just show you who I really am, warts and all.
Cause that's me, baby.